The more important the legacy is for you, the more shallow it becomes. Focus on your vision instead - your vision will create your legacy automatically.
Get your values clear and they will start creating your legacy.
The more faith you have for the future, the more you are willing to let your wants and desires go.
Make sure why you want things - maybe you want to fill your emptiness. It's important to know why you want stuff.
People are looking for proof to emulate you.
Stop asking people to not push your buttons - try to think why are you even getting triggered and try to heal it instead.
People in an emotional state are not really honest and don't want to admit what the real problem is.
Don't argue with a woman. Women often talk about their problems to release stress. Tell her: “Tell me more!”
Talking for men raises stress.
A woman actually wants you to stand your ground.
Are we expressing emotion or are we using them?
Crying is good when you do it for cleansing not for manipulation.
Allow your feelings to come up.
If you keep running away from certain people, they keep coming up in another form in another place until you transmute them (learn the lesson and release the emotion).
Emotional needs
Emotions are internal reward/punishment systems to guide you. They are here to help you survive.
When we used to live in nature, our emotional compass used to help us survive - nowadays it doesn't apply anymore for the current environment (evolution gap).
When we fail to satisfy our emotional needs our body starts to worry about our safety and we turn anxious.
Universe is always training you to become stronger for the things that are coming next.
We do anything we can to fulfill these needs. When our needs start running empty, we often start to fulfill them in dysfunctional ways.
Our emotional needs are:
Certainty (safety) - if we don't have enough certainty, we become more stressful. Find positive ways to create certainty in your life.
Adventure (drama) - when we don`t get enough change, we start creating it ourselves.
Connection - Social bond. When we don't find functional ways to meet our need for connection, we start doing it in dysfunctional ways. Our ancestors could only do it in positive ways. If you don't meet the need, your body will take over to meet the need and not often in functional ways.
Social Significance -
News try to create certainty for you and then will create uncertainty to make you addicted.
You want to become a conscious hedonist - somebody who is chasing pleasure in a conscious way. Take a look at your emotional needs and fulfill them in positive ways.
Weigh up the consequences of your decisions in the future.
Do pleasure fasting from time to time. Delay of gratification is the most powerful skill you could have. People who can delay gratification are more successful in the future.
Seek pleasure in that which is not supposed to be pleasurable (change the meaning). Find a way to enjoy things that are not really enjoyable. If you allow yourself to enjoy negative emotions and let it all out, you stop avoiding these negative emotions and escaping from them.
Our reward system is not a match for our environment.
Life purpose: our purpose is different from our missions.
Your purpose in life is to enjoy it as much as you can (appreciating and accepting everything that is how it is).
Consider fulfilling your emotional needs in ways that are bringing you closer also to your mission.
If any of these needs become below 60%, your body will kick in of urgency.
Think of how you can meet those needs in positive ways.
Emotional needs are survival needs.
Certainty
Some ideas how to create certainty in positive ways: creating positive habits, setting goals for the future, planning (time), keeping my word, meditating, keeping my job, focusing on the positive, avoiding news, avoiding alcohol and drugs, breathing exercises, yoga, reading, self development, walking in nature, exercising, eating healthy, keeping my money stuff in order, investing, keeping good relationships, dreaming, getting a good rest, keeping myself healthy, fulfilling my needs, letting go of old grudges, cleaning, insurance, health checks, relieving stress, progress, money reserve, morning and evening routines, setting attentions, quality time with girlfriend, keeping a phone charged, keeping a fuel tank filled, build self esteem, learning new things, trust, keep house in order, water in containers, electricity generator, extra batteries, sanitisers, masks, having medications nearby, fire extinguishers.
The lower we get on the levels, the more we get urgency and the more we lose consciousness. If you feel anxiety - try to meet your needs. Put some of these things in the calendar. Even better if you can automate it (saving money).
Look at your list and figure out what I should be doing on a regular basis, what do I need to automate and what should I do only once (insurance).
Whenever you feel uncertainty go and do one of those things.
Variety/Drama
Some ideas:
reading interesting books, watching interesting Youtube videos, watching educational movies, visiting nearby towns, discovering new places in nature, going on adventures, taking new courses, meeting new people, watching comedy movies, learning something new, trying new hobbies, traveling, socialising with young people, doing random things, surprises, making your menu very versatile.
Connection
Some ideas to create connection in positive ways:
physical touch, looking deep in the eyes, listening to other person's heart, spending time together, breathing exercises (connection with self), meditation, looking yourself in the mirror, massage, going to nature, taking time for yourself, journaling, yoga, Shindo, saying nice things to yourself, being kind to yourself, listening carefully, taking care of your appearance, deep conversations, hugging, helping, playing with a pet, playing with kids.
Significance
Some ideas to create significance in positive ways: helping others, contributing, being a volunteer, developing yourself, becoming an expert in some field, sharing your knowledge, overcoming your fears, creating an accomplishments list and reading it, facing problems and solving them, keeping your promises to yourself, living according your values, praising yourself, accepting yourself and others, setting healthy boundaries, standing up for yourself, being kind towards yourself, showing interest for others, communicating with others in their primary love language, using often other people`s names.
Key stone behaviour - one behaviour that fulfills multiple needs in positive ways. These are most important - put them in your life plan.
Most of the time we are running on autopilot.
Pick a goal you`re trying to attract in your life:
Financial freedom, working in the self development field.
Givers gain.
If you share your goals, you never know who can help you. Share with the right people.
Sometimes the wanting is better than having it.
Make it really real in your imagination.
A moment in time regarding that goal when you feel it's real.
Visualise it from time to time and make it totally real for you.
Inertia.
What is the first and simplest step you could take to move closer to your goal
Create actions steps to create inertia.
But don`t do it all right away! Take a light quick simple step on Monday and then stop. Then on Tuesday and so on… Spread those things out to create a new identity for yourself.
If you want to write a book, do a little bit every day.
Exercise: create a momentum chain, spread it through the week and put it in your calendar. Create the momentum chain and start following it.
“If you take one step towards me, I'll take two steps torwards you.” God (Universe)
If you have a problem, imagine that you`re asking somebody you admire (Warren Buffet, Elon Musk, Richard Branson etc).
You have the capacity to “remember” the future - imagine the actions you did that got you that result.
Prove to the crew that the captain is in charge.
It's not about the event that happened, it's about the meaning you create about that event.
Beliefs and automatic behaviours
Beliefs filter reality.
We delete and distort and generalise all the time. When you have an intense emotional response to something, it creates a memory.
What we believe about the world, tends to create our experience.
Your beliefs will impact the way you see the world. They also impact the way you see yourself (your identity).
How to identify limiting beliefs?
Ask yourself:
“How would your life be if things were different?”
“Which things need to be different?”
Sometimes you just need to shine a light on a limiting belief and it will go immediately.
Easy high school, difficult life.
In order to be emotionally hurt you have to believe that others can hurt you.
Belief is like a virus that eats evidence and finally becomes a conviction.
Every belief has an anti-belief.
Play this game: look for the evidence for the opposite.
Start doubting this limiting belief a little bit.
Do you have evidence that your belief is at times flawed?
Do you have some anti-evidence for that belief?
If you keep feeding the empowering belief, soon it will become stronger than the limiting one.
One of the most powerful things you can do to improve your existence is to surround yourself with the right people.
Who can you spend time with that would make your life better?
People on the world class level in different fields every month.
Automatic behaviours.
Most of our behaviour is automatic because to be conscious all the time would be very tiring.
One shortcut is to align your conscious with your subconscious - to do things that your higher self actually wants you to do (superconsciousness).
To deprogram an automatic behaviour:
1. Think of the consequences if you continue with that behaviour - what's the worst case scenario? - you will start to see the long term consequences.
2. How could your life improve, if you let that go of that behaviour?
3.What are the strategies for me to change that behaviour?
It's not the thing you don't want to do - you just don't want to start.
Don`t stop your procrastination - choose on what you are going to procrastinate.
How to program a new habit?
Ask yourself: “What kind of new habit would I like to have?”
Why do you want this new habit? If you have an emotional “Why?” it will start to pull you towards your goal. A clear “Why?” will give you 80% of the results.
If you do something 21 days in a row, it will change your neural pathways and this behaviour will become automatic.
In the beginning it will acquire huge amounts of willpower though. It will be easier, if you put reminders in your phone to do them.Create a plan and begin with very small steps!
Measure your results and celebrate every time you do this new behaviour!
It was an awesome event full of great knowledge and meeting amazing people.
I´m also in a similar community called Better You Academy, where there are world class speakers every month and a great group of supportive likeminded people who like to develop themselves.
You can learn more about this community here:
HTTP://BIT.LY/BETTERYOUMEMBERSHIP
