Here are my notes from the John Gray`s masterclass.
We need relationship skills or we will be in a fight/flight mode.We need to take responsibility in a relationship.
Women's hormones are very different from men's hormones.
Women feel good about relationships, men feel good about accomplishments.
We all have male side and feminine side.
Men`s wellbeing is based on testosterone. If a man is depressed or passive, he is low on testosterone and high on estrogen. When a man is aggressive, at those times his estrogen levels are rising and testosterone dropping. Men can raise their testosterone by being active and productive and by solving problems.
When we are in balance, our heart is open.
Women are dependent on estrogen - their estrogen levels affect their wellbeing.
The most powerful way for a man to balance their hormones is through work.
For women it is through romance and passion.
Newness increases dopamine.
When a man's dopamine levels rise (because there`s a problem) and he is confident about solving the problem, his testosterone levels rise and his well being increases.
When men don`t know what to do, their estrogen levels rise.
We both want to experience the opposite side (masculine or feminine).
If you don`t find the balance, the passion will go away.
If you want the passion to last, you have to have relationship skills.
A woman has to be dependent on somebody to raise their levels of estrogen and remain passion.
When there`s differences, there`s attraction (physically, emotionally, mentally).
But spiritually we need similarities (values).
We want to be in a relationship because it brings out the best of us.
When a woman is mostly on their male side, she will feel overwhelmed. (“I have to…” creates stress, “I choose to” creates estrogen.)
A male has to do something to raise his testosterone levels and wellbeing.
When we don`t feel safe, we focus more on problems.
Don`t blame your partner, blame yourself, but in a compassionate way.
Any time you`re blaming or trying to change somebody, you are in fight/flight.
You can`t change your partner, focus on yourself.
We want to express both sides of us.
When women are unhappy, they are probably too much on their male side. Women are afraid to be feminine and to be vulnerable. Women need to make estrogen to find balance. One way to do this is to talk about problems. Men can help women with that.
Women need to depend on somebody to raise their estrogen levels. Women need to feel emotionally safe - sharing their emotions without judgement.
When men are angry they are actually afraid. Then they need to raise their testosterone levels. Men do it by relaxing and forgetting about their problems.
A man can plan a date to raise his testosterone levels.
When you are unhappy, you don`t know what you need. Then you are trying to change your partner.
When a man is angry, his female hormones are dominating. Women - don`t ask your man questions at this moment because it makes his feminine hormones to raise even more.
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